The Sweetest Words

As I sit here reading the messages of encouragement from loved ones I am taken back by how wonderful the written word is. I love the way words look on a page or in a letter or a note from someone who cares about you. The greatest gift someone could give me would be my hand-written name and address situated slightly below and to the left of a postage stamp on an envelope containing a hand-written note intended just for me. The sweetest words to run across my mind today have so very many tender feelings tied to them: Spouse, Children, Mother, Daddy, Sister, Brother, Friend, Love, Family, Home, Savior. How sweet it feels to write them knowing I have them all.

Easter, again

This Easter was the first time we have been back to the cemetery since Christmastime and since our rainbow boy was born. I expected it to be a little tough, but what triggered the lump in my throat was not our children's graveside, but the one next to it. A new one, a fresh one. I found my thoughts turning to that little one's mother. Who is she? What is her story? Does she have support? What about that baby's Daddy? There at my feet were the resting place of 3 of our own, our rainbow baby full of life, and then this new grave site. We saw some other families there who came to visit their little ones as well and as we talked I saw something so beautiful: smiles. It reminded me that if we allow it, healing DOES come, with time, the Atonement, and a lot of grief-work on our own part. I haven't found the words to capture all I was feeling, but I had this distinct thought: Life goes on. Not that it moves on and there is a forgetting, but that there is so much of life worth living for and that no goodbyes are forever.

A Step in the Dark

After a few deep breaths and some encouraging words from some dear friends, I have decided to write my story. My life story, my grief story, my rainbow story and whatever comes next.